"Behold, I Make All Things New..."

The year is just a week and a half away from ending, and even though there are just a few days remaining I want to savor each day. I am looking forward to 2012 and what it has to offer. It has been a long year. This year has put not only me on an emotional ride, but also Brayden. I have been soaring in bliss to one of my lowest points that I have ever experienced. Through all of the joy and sadness God has held me close to Him. I truly am nothing without Him.

Last Friday Josh took Brayden and me through the neighborhoods to look at Christmas lights. I sat real quiet taking it all in. I listened to Brayden making a comment about each home. He was also our singing bird in the backseat. Josh and I would laugh or smile at all of the commotion. When Colt, Kara and Kass are gone, Brayden can fill their shoes in regard to the amount of noise.  

This Christmas season will be my second season without Brayden. Brayden is excited about going to his dad & Kristy’s home and anticipating Santa’s arrival. Santa called him a few nights ago and they talked about what was on his wish list. Our Christmas took place this morning. A surprise visit from Santa took place last night and he left Brayden gifts that only a six year old would find thrilling.

I grew up in a family of six. Christmas mornings were loud with lots of paper flying around. The entire living room would be covered in boxes, wrapping paper and gifts. One thing I noticed for the first time today is how quiet it is when there is just one child…it is different. Brayden sits in the floor to open his gifts and all eyes are on him. He bounces from each Santa gift and all eyes are on him. Every expression can be captured on a video camera and/or camera…because he is the only child to be capturing.

The last three weeks have been incredibly busy at the shop. I have forgotten to eat a few days. One afternoon my mom announced it was 5:35pm and it dawned on me that Brayden was still at school. I had no clue that the afternoon had gotten away from me. Thank God his school knows what I do and they just moved him into the afterschool class. It’s still upsetting for me. BUT, with all of the bustling around the shop my mom and I have done, my mind has been consumed at moments with where I was last year at this time. 

Josh and I were having dinner with my parents last Friday and I had mentioned to my parents what was going on personally inside of me. The week prior, my dad received a phone call from Patrick’s mom. Why? I am still clueless of the reason why she called, because so much time has passed. I never returned her call and there is no need. Truly, there is nothing more to say. This simple phone call caused my mind to be consumed at times with the events of the prior year through May of this year. My dad said, “There’s a lot of water that has flown under that bridge.”

A year has gone by...and I am joyful with my life.

This Christmas season I am beyond thankful for the gift of GRACE. I find myself to be more relaxed and at peace with myself than ever before. I have caught myself pondering on a simple but profound thought…that while Christ was dying for me, He thought of me. He made me to have purpose. Then He who sat on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” And He said to me, “Write, for these words are true and faithful.” Revelation 21:5